A trip for my heart :)

My friends, faithful blog readers, and people of the world. I have been away from my blog for much too long! ONE month! I always told myself I'd never become that person who forgets about their blog for 1 month.

Well, never say never I guess... But the neglect of my blog does not go without consequence. I have felt so guilty for not writing and now I'm just doing what I can to make myself feel better. I DO have some excuses though that you will hopefully accept.

1. I went back to Canada *surprise!!* for 3.5 weeks and didn't find anything remotely as interesting as what I am about to blog about, to blog about.

2. My choir has gone into INTENSE FULL THROTTLE MODE because the Young KL Singers are performing our big show of the year in about 3 weeks and so I rehearse three times a week - yes, THREE TIMES A WEEK and hence my life outside of work is being chomped away.

3. I am in the process of applying to grad school and the thought and stress of applying to grad school consumes my mind every second of every day because those deadlines are soon. I'm also heartbroken because focusing on important life stuff (such as grad school) means I get less time to travel, theoretically..... but I've been travelling anyway. So: Doing grad school apps + travelling at the same time don't do so well on my nerves.

But let me briefly tell you all what I've been up to in Canada..... okay. CANADA WAS WONDERFUL! For the first few days I was back, the temperature was actually hovering around the low twenties. I felt the need to wear a scarf, pants, sweaters. It was glorious and I was LOVIN' it! (Although its a bummer that I had to come back to KL right before all the trees changed colours... someone please, take pics of my tree in front of my house and send me updates on its colour change progression. I'm serious.)

Actually, I had a really interesting experience and perspective going back home for a month and I'm going to tell you about it. Before I left KL, I was DESPERATE to go home. I was experiencing serious FOMO and I was missing everyone and everything they were doing! For example, I saw a picture of my brother BBQing and desperately DISRED TO BBQ something! I had very strange needs and wants. When I got back to Toronto, I was so happy to be home. I loved having my shower back (and not having to squeegee the water into the drain when I was done showering, I loved having an oven (which in retrospect, I don't think I used it once). I loved that my sleep wasn't rudely interrupted by those wretched, blood sucking mosquitoes,  and I loved that I could walk down the street with my cellphone out, without worrying that someone on a motorcycle would drive by and snatch it out of my hand. As the first week went by, I thought to myself - "How am I EVER going to adjust back to Malaysia?" How will I walk down the humid street. How will I go back to spending time thinking about whether I need to bring pepper spray with me, or thinking about the safest mode of transportation to take me home at night? These things just required so much effort that I wasn't sure if I wanted to invest. I mean, I was going to have to invest that effort anyways (because I had a round trip ticket) but I was worried that I would go through a mini version of the depression I experienced when I first got to KL.

Then, as the end of the 2nd week rolled around, I went for a quick visit to Montreal, my fave fave fave city..... and it felt weird! I was loving my Montreal bagels and all but when I walked through McGill Campus, I actually felt super sad and nostalgic and I knew that there was NOTHING I could do to stop or fix the nostalgia. I came to such a REAL understanding that my friends had really left Montreal and that the few friends who were there barely did anything that was associated with McGill (except for you Nat, you made me so jealsies with your OAP pics and plans for scotch tasting at Thompson house). So, I started to realize that it was REALLY REALLY important for me to move on with my life and LIVE in the present moment, rather than waste my time longing for the past, because, seriously, it wasn't doing ANYTHING positive for me at all.

Finally, my last week in Toronto was one of Goodbyes, all over again - but this time, it was so much of me saying goodbye to my friends moving away from Canada - friends moving to Paris, Belgium, Ireland, England.... My friends in Toronto had also started their new lives - they had started PhDs, law school, working sick jobs pursuing their dreams in fashion and finance... and I started to feel like I needed to go back to my cool life in Malaysia where I was following my dreams too! Where I'm always super busy, leading a balanced life of yoga, work, community service, singing with my choir and travelling every weekend!

The end of my trip came and I was lucky to have all my friends around me to say goodbye. So, with a full heart, I returned back to KL with a renewed sense of purpose and excitement! It's been about 2.5 weeks since I've come back and I tell you, it's like MALAYSIA PART II. Since coming back, I am so much more conscious of the time passing me by! I experience WAAAAAAAYYYY less fomo which lets me live in my present moment so much more and as a result, I've just been super happy (albeit stressed out cuz I have a million-trillion things on my plate - but it's a good stressed out :)).
A trip home was just what I needed to improve my experience abroad (ironic as that may seem). My trip reassured me that my friends in Canada are still my friends and will continue to be, and that everything WILL be the same when I go back home - I mean, they were still basically the same after 8 months. My trip also showed me how wonderful my friends in KL are. I felt truly missed and truly blessed to have made such close friends in a short amount of time :)

Now, for some ways in which Malaysia changed me (which came to light in Canada).

1. I'm DOWN to do ERRTHANG (my mother suggested we drive to Chicago spontaneously for the long weekend. Brother: Not down. Father: Not down, Me: SO DOWN.

2. I'm significantly braver. For example, I took my first rideshare ever (on my own!!!!) between Toronto and Montreal. Usually I'm terrified of whom I may end up with but I figured, after some crazy scary bus rides in Malaysia (where I ended up on the side of the road in a broken-down bus), I could handle anything. And I mean, how bad could it get?
Well, the first guy drove with his knees. I am not even kidding. He started looking at me and talking to me with his hands as he was driving and I was internally freaking out until I saw him keeping the steering wheel straight with his knees. Then I started freaking out internally even more.

On the way back, I ended up going with a Russian dude and his car was jam packed. He drove like maniac and I fully thought we were going to get into a car crash and I fully told him to put his phone away while he was driving.....more than one....over the blaring Russian music. I KNOW that if these two drivers took me between Toronto and Montreal PRE-MALAYSIA, I would have reached my destination in tears. but nope. not this time :) I

A very creepy text from Russian man. I say creepy because he replaced all the 'o's with zeros....

3. I don't feel humidity. At least, I don't feel Canadian humidity. We were all out for Rachelle's birthday and as my friends all around me complained about how sticky it was, I couldn't even feel what they were talking about.

4. I am sooooooooooooo good at crossing roads. I thought I was good after Montreal. Now I'm even better. Watch out.

Some great things that I got to do while I was back home:

Take our annual summer trip to Jord's cottage - Jord thank you so much, this was what I was looking forward to the most and it couldn't have been better!

Winetasting in Niagra on the Lake with my Family

And seeing my extended Fam jam:

My trip to Montreal to see my friendsies

Getting gourmet magnums & Shopping for white pants (which I came so close to buying but alas, they were not perfect)

 Celebrating Rachelle and Ziana's Birthday for the 5th year in a row

Seeing friends that I haven't seen since McGill that just moved to Toronto

What a wonderful, beautiful, joyous trip home. I got to spend it with all the people I love so much! And so now this blog post has ended up being way longer than I intended and I didn't even get to tell you about the current things on my mind or what I've done since returning back to Malaysia, but I'll write another post soon!

Good night!!