Examining my Indian-ness

Hey peepz,

So, I returned back from a 2 week trip to India about three to four weeks ago, but have only now made it to the point in my blog where I can logically write about it. But before I do, a preface:

Since moving to Malaysia, I've been asked the question "Where are you from?" a lot. This was a really fun game to play while I went to school at McGill University because I'd always get an answer that went something like this:

"Well, I was born in France but then I moved to Australia and went to school there but I'm half Japanese and then I decided to come to Montreal for university and now I'm here" (fyi, that's a real description of someone that I know). So, I, in comparison, felt like my story was pretty boring when my answer to that question was "Well, I was born in Toronto and I lived in Toronto all my life, and then I moved to Montreal for university".

It was pretty lame but there was never any confusion or strangeness surrounding the fact that I am an Indian who was not born in India, nor has ever lived in India. It was pretty clear and straightforward that I am culturally and genetically India, but like many immigrant families, I was born and brought up in the land of the Moose, beavers, hockey, and winter. But, for some reason that is unknown to me, my acquaintances in Malaysia really struggle to understand the concept of immigration.

I have a few funny stories about the conversations on this topic. For example, someone once asked me how my family was in India and I told them that my family is in Canada. So they asked me if I was born in India and then moved to Canada. Of course, I said no. Then they asked me if my parents were from India. Again, I said no - they were from Singapore and Hong Kong. That brought about much confusion so I put the person out of their misery and told them that all my grandparents were born in India, making me Indian. And their response?



"Wooooow, those are some really strong Indian genes!".

and one time I got:

"Ok, on a scale of 1-10, how Indian are you?" --- well, good sir, that would be a 10, as I am Indian, indeed.

.... or at least I thought I was Indian.

My entire world of my identity (as an Indo-Canadian) was rocked when I went back to visit India this time. I emerged from my trip with a very clear understanding that I was missing some seriously important pieces of my culture to identify my self as Indian. For example: I don't speak Hindi, or any other Indic language for that matter.

I also struggled with things like taking auto-rickshaws and dealing with the fumes and traffic on the Indian roads. Maybe those things don't qualify as "Culturally" Indian but let me ask you this: If I struggle and would probably detest living in my motherland, does that make me less Indian?

In the end, I came to a compromise by making myself feel better by thinking about all the things that DO make me Indian: I know a huge amount of information on Hinduism from a practitioner's perspective; I'm really good at cooking (and eating) Indian food; I can say complex Indian names without breaking a sweat; I understand the Indian accent perfectly; Bollywood music always puts me in a good mood, even when I may not know what the lyrics mean; and I can carry a sari pretty damn well. 

There are so many definitions that could make someone Indian, and I still don't have one that clarifies what it means to be Indian, but, I do know that I am exemplary when it comes to being "Indo-Canadian", the perfect mix of Indian and Canadian, rolled into one :D

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My Trip to India

I started my trip in Bangalore to visit my family and celebrate my first ever Diwali in India. This portion of my [very expansive] family is really, really special to me.

They've all lived in Toronto with me at one point or another in my lifetime. My elder cousin, Bhanu gave birth to both of her children in Toronto and so I got to see them grow from jiggly babies to big kids (and when I say big, I mean big. My niece, 12 years younger to me, is taller than me - see photo below). 

My cousin, Amar, went to university in Toronto and he got to see ME grow from a toddler all the way to seeing me off to university. In return, I saw his children born in Toronto as well and was also there when his new bride moved from Panama to be with him in Toronto. About 1 year ago, they decided to return to Bangalore. So, for me, it was pure joy to be able to play with his kids all day, day after day. I will seriously miss having these monkeys around Toronto. I just hope they remember me a year or two from now as their cool aunty :'(

Cool aunty and the kids

self explanatory pic

and a normal one, just to be different.

Finally, my Aunty Sheila (elder sister of my dad) and my Uncle Gulabi have been in and out of Toronto while her kids had their various major life events. 

So, I was SOOOO lucky to have all three families host me for 1 week in Bangalore! I hadn't been back to Bangalore since I was 8 years old, when I was last there for Bhanu's wedding! In my 8 year old mind, Bangalore was a city that was crowded, dirty, rundown, full of barking dogs and never had electricity. This was what I was expecting to return to. But, I was shocked when I landed. I guess that 15 years is a good chunk of time for a city to evolve.

honestly, the best chutney I've had in my life.

hello Mr. Chai Walla

As soon as I landed in the airport, things were already different. For one thing, there wasn't a mass of men crowding around and staring you at the exit (this was one of the scariest things I experienced as an 8 year old leaving Bangalore airport). I got in a public bus to head into the city (yes, the day I landed in the airport, all the airport taxi drivers decided to go on strike.just my luck) but I quickly came to notice that the bus was air conditioned and super clean. I also noticed that the city outside my window was not the city I remembered. It didn't seem as chaotic or dirty, or creepy or as shocking or 'in-my-face' as it did when I was eight years old. 

Bangalore Railway station taking a page out of the London Tube

My Aunty's home, and my cousin-in-law (Mahesh)'s homes were both in the hippest parts of town, close to all the action like 100 feet road (with tons of restaurants and shopping), Bangalore club, MG road, all the bars, and newest hotels and beautiful malls! My family took me to the best places to eat - mmmmm the dosa and the idily, it was the yummiest I had had in a LONG time! I even got some of the best dim sum and north Indian food I've ever tasted!

The park just outside my Aunt's home :)

Within my first few days in Bangalore, I realized that the city had seriously changed, but, so had I!

In between that moment of realization and the last time I was in India, I had travelled all around East Africa, travelled to Vietnam, Thailand, Indonesia, AND (what probably conditioned me the most) lived a year in Malaysia! In these years, I guess I had been exposed to so much diversity in living circumstances and diversity of people, mindsets, cultures that I had really increased my level of tolerance, my capacity to be patient and my ability to appreciate the now and enjoy the moment for what it was. Being abroad had made me a more peaceful person. 

I always knew in my head that travelling changes people. But, this was the first situation where I had a sort of reference point to discern how I was feeling in the past versus how I felt today and this trip to Bangalore allowed me to FEEL the change that had taken place in me.

Diwali

Celebrating Diwali in India has been a dream of mine since high school. I always wondered what it would be like to be in a country that celebrated Diwali as much as Christmas was celebrated in Canada. I wanted to be somewhere were malls were lit up with Diwali lights and the streets rang with the sound of fireworks, pots and pans! I was not disappointed by Diwali in Bangalore. The ENTIRE WEEK leading up to and after Diwali, we did fireworks every single night!

Rangoli beginnings.

Rangolis for Diwali!

scenes from the festival of lights!

Getting all dressed up!

We launched rockets from my aunts roof while watching huge fireworks take over the sky. We lit TONS of sparklers, "flower pots", and Chakras (which are little disquses that spew sparks and so it spins around in a circle and lights up) and lit "bombs" which have no visual appeal. They are literally just really loud things that sound like bombs. I hated them.

After we finished our Diwali puja we drove out to my cousin's apartment by the airport and enjoyed a beautiful view of the Bangalore skyline with fireworks lighting it up every few seconds in the distance. It was like a little child reached out into the sky with a shaker full of sparkles and glitter and sprinkled it all over the sky. I have never ever seen a holiday celebrated with such joy and intensity before this. New years in Canada is NOTHING compared to the ubiquitous sound, light, and fire for Diwali in Bangalore. It felt WONDERFUL to be in a country that celebrated Diwali along with me, FOR ONCE! Definitely an experience I will never, ever forget :)

Mysore
After Bangalore, I took a trip to Mysore (sandalwood capital of India) to see my dear friend Maya, who I haven't seen in over 1 year, since we graduated from McGill. With her, I did more fireworks (obz), and visited all the historical sites in Mysore like the Mysore Palace, the Devi Temple of the top of the Chamundi Hills, saw markets selling nothing but flowers and rangoli powder and took a trip to Tipu's palace.

Reunited at Tipu's Palace!

Outside the Mysore palace

Inside the HIPSTER Mysore palace

Rangoli powder in all colours at the market

The Devi temple at Chamundi Hills - this wall sits just behind the deity so people get as close as possible from outside the inner chamber of the temple. People leave sacred ash and power here. I thought it was beautiful and so smart how people thought of this. The inner chamber of the temple is INSANELY crowded on a regular day, so you have to strain your neck just to get a glimpse of the deity!

Mysore is beautiful, it's small, it's quiet and a wonderful reprieve from Bangalore. Maya's mom also fed us SO much, it was amazing. I really enjoyed spending time with her family - her mom is so outgoing and HILARIOUS (she basically jumped into the Kaveri Delta River - the holy river of the south, while the rest of us slightly sprinkled water on ourselves).

the Kaveri Delta

More of The Kaveri Delta

These idols were found in the river and made into an altar.

Maya and I travelled back to Bangalore (by TRAIN, I must add), and later caught a flight to Ahmedabad in Gujarat where I stayed at Raahil's place! Raahil, too, I had not seen in over a year! Reunions all around.

Never ever ever ever did I think I would come to stay at Raahil's place in India! Ahmedabad is a really cool city/town. It was definitely less developed than Bangalore but Raahil is totally living the life there! Sorry Raahil, but I'm about to give away your secrets. Raahil has a simple place and lives with a SUPER organized roomie. He has a cook to cook him a warm, fresh meal every day and a cleaning lady that comes every day and even does laundry! He lives right in the university area in Ahmedabad so he's close to all the hipster, yummy places to eat.

Raahil's room in INDIA

And, we rode all around Ahmedabad on Raahil's SCOOTER. Overall, I just couldn't get over how Indian Raahil had become - speaking Hindi perfectly, with a pony tail and gotee, and even a little of that Indian-man-belly.

i'm bad-ass

It's an interesting trade-off between my work and Raahil's work and work place. Here I am working for a company that is making lots of monies, has a beautiful work environment, but.....do I really feel like my work is contributing to the betterment of humanity? Maybe on some days, but definitely NOT all the time. That's not to say that I don't love my life in KL. I'm SO happy to come into work every day to see my friends, have great time, learn from my inspiring colleagues - but do I think my specific work and role is making a difference? I'm not sure.... and that bugs me a little because I AM SOMEONE who wants to make a difference, and wants to SEE that difference being created by my labour. 

POVERTY ACTION LAB! You go girl.

Raahil, on the other hand, works in very meagre conditions. Their office has no windows (although it has a good internet connection), no bean bags, no crazy company parties, BUT, Raahil is certain that he is doing something which will change the world and impact the manufacturing industry in India. Maya is also in the field working with communities every day, asking them about their agriculture methods.

Maya and Raahil took me all around Ahmedabad. I went to visit the Gandhi ashram where I saw Gandhi's room and stepped on the soil Gandhiji stepped on! I saw a letter he had written to Hitler urging him to stop his madness. I read a wonderful timeline of his life, complete with Gandhi's most famous quotes. I felt happy and sad all at the same time because Gandhi had such an incredible, peaceful philosophy and vision for the future which unfortunately is not being practiced very much today. He had a vision of a united India, which again, is not today's reality.

Maya took me to the textile gardens where I got to see and buy the beautiful textiles that Ahmedabad is famous for! Now, I have huge pieces of fabric and I need to figure out a) how I'm going to eventually bring it home and b) what the heck I am going to make out of it.

Maya also took me to the intricate Hatheesingh Jain Temple where I realized that I knew so little about Jainism, when I saw the idols being worshiped.

At the Hatheesingh temple

Then, Maya, Raahil and I took a trip out to see the Surya Temple (the temple of the sun) which was constructed ONE THOUSAND years go! It was constructed with such precision that on the Spring equinox, the light hits the gem in the forehead of the deity in a way that lights up the entire temple. Today, the temple is no longer used for worship since the idols were destroyed during a war. Nevertheless, this temple was incredible! We had a great guide who showed us all the sculptures and carvings and explained where all the stories from the Ramayana and the Mahabarat could be found within the carvings. 

I literally sat in awe of the temple, thinking just how AMAZING it was that something built one thousand years ago held the same stories that I knew of today and learned in my own religious education when I was younger. It's incredible! ITS ONE THOUSAND years later and the stories embedded in the temple walls are the same stories being told to me in the same way, TODAY.

Surya Temple

The place to bathe before you go into the surya temple

Me about the bathe..... hehehe jk jk, the water was gross.

And finally, we took a trip to a step-well outside of Ahmedabad - which is a place where the kings and queens bathed, relaxed, etc, deep in the ground. I am not so sure about the history of these things but they are all over the region and their carvings are STUNNING.

For real: Ahmedabad has so much history and beauty! I was thoroughly impressed by the city. 

Notable things I did in Ahmedabad:

1. Took a rickshaw on my own (BOO YA!)

2. Ordered alcohol from a bootlegger (since Gujarat is a dry and vegetarian state)

3. Went to a seriously sketchy street (the only street) where meat is sold in Ahmedabad and saw a giant cockroach crawl up a man's leg and then DEMANDED WE LEAVE IMMEDIATELY. That was disgusting.... I want to throw up right now thinking about it. Luckily my partner in crime, Maya, felt the same way and we planned our escape together.
4. Saw my besties!!!!!!

In a beautiful haveli - lost of Muslim architecture in Ahmedabad 

On our night tour through the markets

Seriously, Raahil and Maya were wonderful hosts and took such good care of me - even to the extent of checking that I was okay while brushing my teeth, going to the bathroom, changing my clothes etc (LOL).. And, I have to say the same thing about Banagalore: Thank you, Mahesh and Bhanu for being so wonderful, taking me to eat at the best places, Mahesh, for updating me on all my Bollywood music and even taking me to see a Bollywood movie (Krrish 3 btw) without subtitles (which I still understood!!).

Thank you Amar and Karina for hosting me at their place multiple times and letting me bully, ignore, and play with your kids from dawn till dusk (LITERALLY). And Amar, for escorting me to Mysore and downloading movies for me to watch to catch me up with my Bollywood!

Thank you Aunty Sheila and Uncle Gulabi, for taking me around town to get the new outfits I wanted, taking me to eat, taking me to see the home my dad was born in and taking such such such good care of me all around :) This was one of the most wonderful trips I've ever taken. I saw family, friends, I went to hip places, historical places, I saw the north, I saw the south… It was such a well-rounded trip!!! I am truly thankful for the family and friends that I have. I am so blessed to have them taking care of me :) 

Now, I can't wait for my next trip to India :)